In My Head

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Source : massimo-group.com

I was born in February 1995. By that count I am 22 years of age. But I can assure you that there are times when I am confused like a 10-year old while choosing among flavours and times when I behave like I’m on the wrong side of 40. Till around 9.30 PM yesterday I felt as if I won the war by seizing half of the enemy-empire. Then suddenly blood magic pelted my army and washed away all my dreams.

Almost.

I pulled it back somehow. Sometimes, when you are coding, even small successes mean “happy ending” for the day. Then, the day’s action shifted to the action in my head, something which I wasn’t so happy about. I found it unsettling. The entire scenario was almost like a personal tragedy. No amount of music, work, video games or watching TV excited me. This had been happening for days.

I remember I have always hated this. As I waited for fidgeting to stop, I was thinking, ‘Decisions. Here they come!’. As it is I am such an indecisive person at times as the possibility of missing out on any opportunity kills me. There are people who don’t worry much and I can’t understand how can they? Although this wasn’t my pondering worst, some events made it tougher than it wasn’t. Power cuts, in this hot & humid weather, felt nothing short of burns on my body. In the living room mummy played out “extremely-classical” music on Youtube. It’s not that I hate classical music, I just wasn’t in the mood.

I was about to sleep at 11.40 PM but once again the weather turned up and spoiled the party. Nights were meant to be cooler than days. Weren’t they? I checked Instagram and Facebook again and again and again. I was furious. One part of me said I can’t fight nature. The other half shouted, “Why am I always under the hammer?” I’d admit that my mind also took me back to the important decisions I’d taken in life. Be it learning new skills, walking away from people I didn’t connect to, accepting tough challenges and obviously some “very very bad” ones.

A little past midnight things improved. I kept my phone aside and prepared myself to tackle some serial killers. Yeah, I’ve been having strange dreams too. Half a day later, I’m practicing my narration skills here. Feeling a lot better. Anyone else having a tough time? 

See you guys next time.
 

Comments

  1. Aishvarya Gupta6 June 2017 at 15:40

    Hey Saanidhya, nice to land here again. Things gonna come complete one day and you will see every dot in past and present connecting for good. Going the same way here :P

    ReplyDelete
  2. Saanidhya Gothankar6 June 2017 at 16:25

    Yeah,I know. Even if we plan a lot, it seldom works out that way.'Carpe Diem' is what we should do. :)

    ReplyDelete

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